In The Begining There Was Only Me...

Let me start by saying, this is not going to be a book. Raven Simone will never play me in the movie version, though she would be my first choice. This is not about fame, money, or notoriety. I’m not here to be funny, though my outlook on life and this project will tend to make people laugh, and I’m not here to make people feel sorry for me. I made every one of my choices with full awareness of the consequences. This is not about being a voice for fat people, or women, though I am both. This is not about fat discrimination or wanting bigger seats on airlines or any of that. Honestly, I'm simply not that deep or intellectual. Most importantly, this is not about needing acceptance from the outside world. This is just about me. And if it brings inspiration or support to someone else, all the better.

I am 29 years old and I am fat. Some call it big boned, thick, chunky, bbw, fluffy, curvy, voluptuous. The term my doctor uses is obese. Oddly enough, my Wii Fit uses the same term. Whatever you call it, the end result is the same. More of my body is fat than muscle. I am fat. As for the numbers, well, those are no one’s business but my own. You see, I am in a place that not too many women, regaurdless of size, can say. I am happy with me. I am happy with my beauty, as anyone who knows me can tell you how vain I am. I am happy with who I am as a person. I am kind, loyal, sincere, honest and hard working. I like to be active. Laser tag is a favorite of mine as is paintball. But I think it is always important to understand that there is always room for improvement. That’s what this is all about. It’s a chance to improve myself.

I have no desire to be America’s Next Top Model. I don’t want to be a size 2. Hell I don’t even want to be a size 10. In the words of Niecy Nash, “I like my jiggly parts!”. I am not ashamed of my body. I show it off proudly. This is me. Every curve, inch and pound has a story that all equal me. Being fat has allowed me to give a compassion for others that I was not always shown. To be fun and spontaneous. To perfect my personality rather than my dress size. And every thing up until this point, I would not change. But the reality is that at my current size, health problems can become like wild fires. They catch on fast and are hard to snuff out.

I am blessed not to have diabetes, but I do have high blood pressure and I don’t want to take those stupid pills anymore. I want to jog for 5 minutes straight without feeling like my heart will burst out of my chest. I want to know that I have the willpower to do this. Can I get up and jog? Or will the brownies beat me? What I want is really pretty simple. I just want to be healthy.

And so begins my project. Physical activity. One hour a day. Three days a week. And a one mile run every other week. I will pair this is semi good eating. Yes, semi good. I’m not giving up cheese. Nor will I give up cereal. That is just not happening, so let’s all get over that, right now. But no soda, smaller portions, less sugars, that I can and will do. I have a goal in mind, of how much I would like to lose, but you will have to forgive me. For the time being, that information shall be mine alone. And I will give myself one year in which to achieve my goal. And in one year… well… hopefully, I’ll still be standing…but I guess we’ll see.